Saturday, February 7, 2015

"Free, I'm going to have to teach you."

Free. Free-Free. - noun. 1. uninhibited; open 2. term of endearment for a teacher by the name of Ms. Freeman
synonyms: ash ash free free; meanie; hard nose; strict; tough

For all of the complaining (about me) that wafts through the hallways at school, the love that follows is certainly more abundant. The kids who know me well from class or student council know that I'm not mean: I'm a tough love, hold-the-bar-high kind of lady. I genuinely want them to do well and don't take their mess or excuses for why they aren't performing up to par. Every semester, former students dip into my room between classes and after school to profess their love and fond memories of classes gone by. My heart smiles just a bit when they come in with big grins and goofy waves because it makes that current parent email that's told me I should never have kids seem like a blip on my proverbial radar. As much as I love my little stinkers, I sometimes wish they weren't so invested in my potential love life. The grand ideas that cross their minds crack me up, so I thought you might get a laugh out of them too. :)

"Ms. Freeman, you're like the teacher version of Beyonce." = Win

"Ms. Freeman, how many cats do you have?"
"Oh, we were talking at lunch and totally see you with cats forever." = Fail

"Ms. Freeman, did you grade our papers this weekend?"
"No. I have a life."
"Did you go on a date?"
"Can you stand the way his face looks for the rest of your life?"
"I'm not sure yet. We haven't known one another long enough for me to determine that."
"Oh, well, it's cool that you went on a date." = Win

"Mrs. Freeman."
"I'm not a Mrs. Just Ms./Miss. I'm not married."
"Why aren't you married?"
"Well, that's a good question. I don't rightly know."
"Aww, well, aren't you like 30 something?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I guess most people are married by the time they're 30. Are you going to be a cat lady or something?"
"Um, no. Do I look like a cat lady?"
"Kinda. We talked at lunch and decided you look like you could live alone with cats forever." - Fail"

"Ms. Freeman, your hair is on fleek."
"What does that mean? Is it good or bad?"
"Oh, it's good. It's gucci, cool, on point." = Win

"Ms. Freeman, can we watch a Simon's cat video? They're hilarious."
"Yeah, we'll watch one before we leave."
"Do you like these because you're a cat lady?"
"No. I like them because anyone who owns cats know they ring true."
"Oh. Well, you have a cat, so that makes you a cat lady...right?" = Fail

"I love this class. People say you're mean, but I tell them you're just strict, not mean."
"Well thank you."
"And you're funny. You're a funny cat lady." = Win/Fail

So, it appears the trend here is that I look like a cat lady? I've stared long and hard in the mirror, and I'm not seeing it, but the children have spoken, and I guess I need to steer clear of adopting another kitty, or I may will their prophecy true. Cool hair: check. Cool clothes: check. Fun Personality: check. WHY DO I LOOK LIKE A CAT LADY TO THE CHILDREN?!?

My next pet will inevitably have to be a fish. No one will ever say, "Ms. Freeman, you strike me as a fish lady." = Win.

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