Thursday, December 10, 2015

"Oh. You don't say?"

I don't know if I should be glad or worried that my skin has thickened to the point that I almost laugh in the face of pretty scathing insults. Maybe it's a matter of survival; maybe I'm becoming increasingly disturbed; or maybe I'm being sucked into some vortex of self confidence that helps me to deflect the loads of crap kids blurt each day. Even if you think you know me well, this week has illuminated things that even I didn't know about myself.

1. English is not History class, so you just need to stop with the History already. Aren't we supposed to be putting those little things in sentences...you know, those things, Ms. Freeman. Commas and stuff.

"Oh. You don't say?"

2. You don't want kids to learn; you just don't know what it means to teach. At least other people want us to do well. You keep failing us because you don't want us to play sports or anything. You're just sad.

"Oh. You don't say?"

3. As a matter of fact, you should just stop teaching the History behind some of this writing. History isn't even real.

"Oh. You don't say?"

4. I don't even know how you got a man who looks like that to like you. You just want everyone to be nerdy, and he is NOT nerdy. But you're probably going to make it.

"Oh. You don't say?"

5. You always follow the rules. Always. You are the only person who follows all the rules all the time. I mean, don't you ever get tired of being nerdy and boring all the time, Ms. Freeman? You really should just break a rule sometime.

"Oh. You don't say?"

6. I know you keep telling us you can't control the thermostat, but I think you just make it cold in here because you know we don't like it. You like it when we're uncomfortable. That's because you're a bad teacher.

"Oh. You don't say?"

7. You don't teach college. You just tell us that because you want to look like you know what you're doing.

"Oh. You don't say?"

8. That's your brother? (pointing to the picture of the boyfriend) Gross! You date your brother?!? You white people don't make sense.

"Oh. You don't say?"

9. You never teach us any English stuff. We're always reading and writing and looking up words and annotating. When are we going to do the English stuff. I don't even think you teach the right stuff.

"Oh. You don't say?"

10. *refuses to complete work; gets progress report* What?! I'm failing?! This is stupid. You think you can just give me grades? That's what you do. You just give out grades because you don't actually want us to do well. Other teachers help us; you never help.

"Oh. You don't say?"

If I continued, I might actually start to question my purpose in life. That, or I'd laugh hysterically to keep from crying at how misguided and skewed the opinions are. For now, I'll don my duck feathers and let it all roll off. According to this bunch, I'm just as well to join the circus. I have a 25lb cat and could probably learn to jump through flaming hula hoops; it may not be a glamorous life, but it sounded cool when I read Water for Elephants.

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