Glitter Polish

I paint my nails quite frequently now...a little sparkle in the crazy that is currently my norm. Show up to 13-year olds every day for several months, and you'll need more than glitter polish to forgive and forget the ridiculousness that 7:30-2:30 entails.

Things I've said since August:

"What did you just put in your mouth?"
"Please get off the floor."
"Put your shoes on."
"Did you just eat a booger?"
"Stop hitting people with your ID."
"Put your ID around your neck...not on your head, hooked over your ears with the clip up your nose."
"Stop beating on things."
"Don't staple your body parts."
"What's that smell?"
"Why is your paper sticky?"
"Get out from behind the door and sit down in your seat."
"I'm going to pop your head if you don't stop squirming around so much."
"What's going on in the bathroom? Are they pounding out beats while using the urinals?"
"Stop yelling...I'm right here."
"Stop touching one another."
"Don't look at him/her."
"Be still."
"I love y'all's little faces, but you're annoying about 99.999999999 % of the time."
"Pork chops! Stop talking!"
"If you don't stop blurting out and interrupting people, I'm going to flick your eyeballs."
"I will be the sole paper trail for your trip to RT if you don't stop."
"I am so glad it's Friday. I don't have to see you and you don't have to see me for two whole days."
"This is the best day of my life."
"Best story I've heard all day."
"Wish I'd brought my caring face today."
"This middle school business won't cut it in high school."
"Where is (insert crazy child's name here)? How did I lose a child in one room?"
"You may have ONE sheet of computer paper. That mess is expensive."
"Yes, you're right, this is my job, but I don't get paid enough to deal with your greasy butt."
"Get your face off the book/desk/floor/her purse/my podium/the wall/etc."
"Where's your agenda?"
"Why are you so mean?"
"Yes, it's true that I'm old enough to be your mom."
"Yes, I only have cats."
"Girls, they only get taller and harrier, not smarter. Remember that. Fat and bald at the 10yr reunion. Fat and bald."
"Sit down! It is not time to go yet, and I will stand in front of that door."
"Stop kicking the locker."
"Put your backpack away."
"No, you may not BORROW a peppermint, but you may eat the entire thing and not give it back."
"Y'all listen like you don't have ears."

This is mild compared to some things I've said. I've had to liken the hallway to a highway just to get the zoo animals to stay in their lane. I have to remind them that once-upon-a-time in a land far away, libraries were quiet places where reading was acceptable and social hour was NOT the agenda. I am the current subject of a popular snapchat where a child is flipping me off because she loves me so much. And in the next couple months I'm going to learn just how much compassion and understanding middle schoolers have -- more on that later.

Hug a middle schooler because their mean heads need it. As a matter of fact, they need butt whoopins and hugs...the kinds of hugs that hurt a little and make their eyes uncomfortably bulge. They like it.