An Open Letter to All the "Parents" Out There

Putting on a band aid doesn't make me a doctor. Cooking dinner doesn't make me a chef. Going to school every day doesn't make me a teacher. Driving my car doesn't make a chauffeur. Cleaning my house doesn't make me a maid. Brushing my hair doesn't make me a hair dresser. Painting a wall doesn't make me a painter...

BUT...

No one ever goes out of the way to remind me that I'm not these things. 

Oddly, many parents feel it necessary to remind the childless of their ineptitude regarding tiny humans -- you know, since we don't "own" any ourselves. Well, let me remind you that giving birth/fathering a child, doesn't make you a parent. 

I've wiped noses, kissed boo boos, and braided hair. I've walked behind while holding out my index fingers so baby wouldn't fall; I've wiped tears, spanked behinds, pulled teeth, taught please and thank you/yes ma'am and yes sir. I've hugged a homesick middle schooler at 2am, hugged a kindergartener who just had a potty accident, and hugged the miscreant who acts out just because he/she needs any kind of attention. I've bought clothes, food, and supplies. I've loaned money, time, energy, and emotions. I've celebrated the victories, cried through the failures, and disciplined when needed. 

I've attended musical performances, theatre productions, graduations, birthday parties, competitions and sporting events -- often when you couldn't or wouldn't come. I've received letters, calls, texts, emails, and cards -- some on a random Tuesday, some on Mother's Day. I've changed diapers, played catch, and even done the unthinkable: attended funerals (that's right, multiples), one where I sat down in the middle of the parking lot and cried to my mom because I couldn't handle losing one of my babies. 

For all you know, I don't have kids because I can't have them. Maybe I don't have them because I've chosen not to have them. Either way, me not giving birth doesn't make me any less compassionate or knowledgeable. You know, it's funny to me that we marry complete strangers and call them family; we take on our friends as "framily"; but, when someone doesn't have children, he/she is clearly at a huge disadvantage for dealing with children. WRONG. 

I know plenty of people who have zero clue how to care for children properly...and they have several children. As a matter of fact, I have family members who've had multiple children and don't know as much about parenting as some of the childless in our family. 

You're right: I don't know what it's like to give birth or have "gotcha" day. But you're wrong if you think I'm not a parent. Next time you feel the need to stand in the front office of the school and yell, "you probably don't even like kids anyway!," you should stop and think that many of the people who love and care for your children are childless, yet dedicated folks who love your children more than any human should love other people's children. So yep. I'm just going to leave this right here...