Some things don't discriminate. Judging a book by its cover (while totally cliche) is, I've discovered, the most horrible thing anyone can do. Those who appear to have it all together may be screaming on the inside...they may be struggling with demons larger than they can handle, and appearances are all that stand between them and a happy face or rocking back and forth on the closet floor in tears because "fixing" the problem seems impossible.
It's easier to villainize a person or problem and simply to make up your own version of why things happened than to understand the intricacies of what really went down. Some of us aren't familiar to mischief, addiction, or the like and, therefore, have a propensity to devise victimized scenarios of how we became tied up in a life that involves such things. The reality ties back to "Some things don't discriminate," and I've decided recently that studying to understand diseases far beyond cognitive control often has more layers than we can feasibly comprehend, especially if we aren't accustomed to such behaviors.
Trust is a tricky thing. I'm like a dog - loyal to a fault. Burn me, and I'll come back for more, simply because I desperately need to see the good in people and in the world. Does this get me into trouble? The short answer is yes. But, is it a bad quality to have? The shorter answer, I've concluded, is NO. Sometimes bad people do bad things to good people, but through research, fact checking and consulting relevant sources, I've discovered that sometimes good people do bad things to good people because they are influenced by things that quickly get out of control. Most people don't want to be bad, but once they fall into poor decisions, behaviors, and abuse of substances, their brains are plagued by altered states of reality that see them living much unlike the "normies" of society.
Trust gets even trickier. Sometimes people who sell you on how great they are actually are worse than the folks who get caught up in the messes that influence their poor choices. Seemingly good people who intentionally deceive others under no influence other than to deceive are, in my opinion, far worse than those who make ridiculously awful decisions and find themselves in trouble, in need, or desperate enough to commit crimes to survive.
Everyone has a past, and for some, it's so ugly, it's hard even to comprehend. My past is relatively squeaky clean; however, some folks have lived hard lives and tried, without avail, to shake their bad habits and do the right thing, only to find themselves caught up right where they were in the first place. The unfortunate part is that our government, society, and general human perception doesn't allow these folks chances to prove their goodness but, instead, marks them with a scarlet "A" and affords them fewer opportunities than the rest of us, ultimately pushing many of them right back into their proverbial holes. This isn't fair. Do we take the risk of being burned or mistreated by giving people who've served time for their bad choices actual chances to become productive citizens? Yes. Do we help society or ourselves by constantly holding their transgressions against them? No. Even good people go bad, but why is it that we mark some and not others? I've thought a lot about this.
Despite people's opinions of my actions, my words, and my decisions, I want to villainize less and understand more. I want to form my own opinions instead of doing what I've done in the last six months and trust the words and actions of people around me who, unfortunately in some cases, had ulterior motives or simply a lack of understanding of the situation. I want to be a person who sees the need to provide opportunity and understanding to people who have monumentally messed up and even all but destroyed the good in their lives because even they deserve to be happy as long as they continue on paths of goodness.
I know this is cryptic, but those who know me well understand my musings. Just think about what kind of person you want to be. Think about all you don't understand, people you've written off as "bad" people and really consider the situation, the actions (they speak louder than words any day) and how society is helping those people lead productive lives despite their muddy pasts.
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