I just finished reading James Frey's A Million Little Pieces, and I'm so intrigued and heartbroken and confused and disgusted and elated that when I found out the book has a sequel, I immediately ordered it on Amazon free one-day shipping, and it'll be here before 9 tonight. Yes, Frey's "memoir" received quite a bit of kickback after it was discovered some of the details may have been fabricated and/or embellished; however, I have to imagine that anyone living such a lascivious lifestyle, chemically clouded by substances and racked by poor choices might not remember every single detail of everyday dealings and may also have more intense memories or feelings related to bad experiences. Behavior excused? Absolutely not. But behavior explained with unique perspective? Absolutely.
I've thought a lot about how addiction and poor choices are perceived in our society, and I find it interesting that we are more prone to forgive famous people, or people we see as major contributors to society, for their transgressions than we are to forgive and give chances to regular folks. NFL stars beat their girlfriends, potentially commit murder, or get pulled over for DUIs and we excuse them because they make millions. Reese Witherspoon (love her! HelloSunshine!) has a crazy drinking stint and gets arrested for mouthing a cop, but she's still America's Sweetheart, creating empowering shows for women and running organizations to cultivate strength in young girls. P!nk sold and used drugs as a teenager but is now a successful singer, performer, mother and wife. Fergie was a meth head and admits to hallucinating almost daily. Eric Clapton spent thousands on heroin. Zac Efron and all of his abs hung out with Charlie Sheen a bit too much and ended up in rehab (happy 5 years clean, bud!). Rob Lowe apparently has 25 years clean. Ozzy Osbourne did so many drugs you can hardly understand him, but he's still considered one of the greatest performers of his time. Most country artists drink themselves silly and get in weekend bar fights in Nashville. We roll down our windows and sing The Weekend's "Can't Feel My Face" with wild abandon, never stopping to realize the song personifies Cocaine "but [he] love[s] it." Mike Posner "took a pill in Ibiza, to show Avicii [he] was cool" and now Avicii is a tragic example of what taking pills can do to a person.
All of this matters only if you're willing to think about why these people get a break and others don't. I personally know a felon, but he's not a bad guy. I have had family members addicted to drugs, alcohol, control; family members with horrible tempers and a propensity to violence who are still family and still working on themselves. Anger, resentment and frustration are par for the course when we're dealing with certain issues in our lives; however, I'm trying more and more each day to realize that people who truly want change let their actions speak louder than their words and only have those actions to move on from their wrongs. There's no "fixing" some things, but there is an opportunity to move beyond and start anew for all involved. The question is whether we're willing to shift perspectives and risk being burned (maybe even for the millionth time). My bank account has been hacked before, but I didn't shut it down permanently and vow never to have a debit card again. The bank proved they could keep my information safe 99% of the time, so I gave them another shot (twice, actually). I've ripped a seam in a dress while standing in front of a class full of teenagers, but I didn't stop buying dresses or shopping at Kohl's because that's where it came from. I just became more aware, more cautious, more discerning. Maybe those are stupid examples, but those of you who understand and are open to what I'm saying will make something of them.
I don't think my examples could be exhausted if I chained myself to a desk and wrote constantly until the day I croaked out, but I hope that some of them make people think about how they perceive others. Life is a battlefield. Time will tell. Actions speak louder than words. *insert your own cheesy life lesson here* or just read the Tao Te Ching. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment