The Firebird Fires Back

The proverbial summer has come to an end, and school begins full force tomorrow. This certainly has been a summer of firsts, seconds, and holy craps and while I'm nervous for everything to come, I know that it's all going to be eye opening and humbling for me. After two months of letting rumors fly, bets be placed, and minds reel, I thought it best to clear the air and set the record straight.

I left Station Camp because...
...it gave me a great start as a public high school teacher, but I had my moment, and it's time for someone else to go in and love the kids. From crying on a daily basis my first year to walking the halls with my tough reputation in tow, I ran the gamut as a bison. Student council, prom, AP Lang Comp, Froshies -- I wouldn't trade a minute of my time at SCHS because it helped me to find myself as an educator; however, I need a new challenge to keep me on my toes so that I can learn more about teaching, about life, and about myself.

I chose Pearl Cohn Entertainment Magnet because...
...I was afforded a great opportunity to leap, so I slid off my floaties and dove head first. The outpouring of community from the teachers and staff (and even the BOE -- education people will understand why this one is a surprise!) has been huge, and I'm glad to have spent a good chunk of my summer working with new "family," not to be confused as replacements for my bison family. This job is different in every way imaginable, and it doesn't require me to give up everything that I love. No, I won't be teaching AP for now, but I will get to continue my involvement in TASC and student council, and I'll have some amazing opportunities to collaborate with teachers all across the school and district.

Why some people think I'm going...
...almost makes me laugh yet simultaneously makes me sad. I am not choosing a turn-around school with a poorer population in order to splint a bunch of broken wings and return baby birdies to the nest; I am choosing a turn-around school with a poorer population because I need a challenge to become a better teacher. I need a kid with the guts to go toe to toe with me; a kid who desperately tries to get people to give up on him even though he needs them to stick around; a kid who will force me to ask myself how to do my job better and who will constantly force me to ask "who am I?" and "what is my purpose?"

What some people secretly think but won't say to my face...
is a bit disheartening. Even if it's out of worry, it hurts my feelings that people who supposedly know me well wonder if I truly know what challenge I've accepted...some even think I'll beg to have my old job back. Naive is something I try not to be; although I'm not always successful, a good majority of the time, I'm cognizant of what it means to trade one set of problems for another. I made the trade. I chose this job, and I'm scared and excited for the challenge.

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The other thing that makes me sad is that people immediately judge the school and students based on location and past reputation. I have actually been asked if congratulations are in order since it's Pearl Cohn. My response? If you would congratulate someone on taking a new job that is a pay promotion, a good solid challenge, and an opportunity to meet and work with well-trained colleagues, then yes. Congratulations are in order. But please don't wish me well if you don't mean it.

I will miss SCHS dearly because the people there are like family. The emails, comments, lunches, phone calls, etc. have been more than a generous response to my departure. Some of the people I respect the most but never knew thought so highly of me have passed along precious advice and regard for my new adventure. The biggest compliments have come from the students surprised to hear I'm leaving. Not one (and that is not an exaggeration) has questioned my motives but, instead, they've encouraged me and maintained that it's a move fitting for my personality. It's sad to leave the children, but I get to inherit new ones. :)

Regardless of what you think, I know why I'm making a change. So much has transpired since the beginning of May, and I can't even begin to explain it all. I don't need to. Stay tuned. I hear each day will be a helluva story, and those who know me well will expect a blog of follies. Oh man, I can only imagine I'll have them.

Thanks, Harper Lee.

"Travel alone? Why?" 

If I've answered this question once in the last couple months...well, you know how the rest goes. A spring break trip with a couple girlfriends got me thinking about my life, my feeling of "treading water" and never really doing anything except shaking up my relatively predictable routine. For years, I've had aspirations of travel but no one willing to come along. After a text conversation with a friend and a gmail chat with my brother, I decided to seek my own adventure. Some research on good weekend trips with outdoor opportunities pointed me toward Asheville, NC, and at 10:30 one weeknight, I booked my accommodations for the weekend preceding my 32nd birthday. 

What inspired all of this? Harper Lee. Yep. Good ole Harper Lee published an article in a 1965 McCalls about children discovering the world. It's one of her rare nonfiction pieces that many don't even know she wrote. "When Children Discover America" inspired me to get out and explore America for myself; I've always said that I have little desire to go galavanting around foreign countries when there's much to discover here in my own country, so I asked myself what I've been waiting for. Myself didn't have an answer, so I made her buck up and make a plan, a plan without plans, so to speak. 

Booking my accommodations was exciting and empowering; my students were excited when we discussed the article (they read it during our reading of To Kill a Mockingbird) and the details of my intended trip leaked into conversation. Surprisingly, momma wasn't horrified that I was driving over five hours from home, by myself, for a weekend of hiking and adventure. My brother, always a cheerleader for adventure and travel, even got me a cool book for my birthday all about 36 hour trips to take across North America (36 Hours, 150 Weekends). 

I was feeling excited until I got wind that some people interpreted my solo excursion as a desperate effort to get away -- a depressed vacation lamenting my singleness. They felt bad for me and assumed I was going away sad, yet it's quite the opposite! My 87-year old grandfather was fit to be tied, exclaiming to my mother his distaste for women traveling alone, really doing anything alone. What most people didn't realize is the same week I booked my Asheville trip, I got a wild hair and planned a week-long road trip along the East coast: Wilmington, NC; Charleston, SC; Hilton Head, SC; Savannah, GA. I searched AirBnB and made bookings with three hosts along the coast, and I'm so excited about the trip I can't stand it. The call's been made to get a travel check on Pepe (my Pewter colored Altima...get it, Pepe le Pewter?!), and after stuffing report cards on the morning of May 23rd, I'm heading out on a solo road trip -- like Thelma and Louise, except just me and the open road...and no Brad Pitt. :) I have places to stay and no solid plans of what to do, and that's how I want to keep it. After years of wishing for a trip to Wilmington, I'm finally getting the chance to explore Dawson's Creek in all its glory, a chance to eat oysters in Charleston, a chance to run on the beach in Hilton Head, and a chance to drink a beer on the riverfront in Savannah while talking to strangers and eating ridiculously good (and buttery, y'all) food. 

All of this is to say that I'm tired of living in the shadow of myself. The world has tons to offer, and my brother is right: if I don't explore it now, I'll look back and realize that I had a wonderful time in my single life to seek adventure, and I wasted it. I refuse to waste my time waiting on adventure to fall into my lap, trip me from around a corner, or randomly show up on my doorstep. We make time for the things important in our lives, and folks, I'm important to me. My want of solo adventure doesn't mean I don't enjoy travel with friends and family and certainly doesn't point to any harbored depression, but it means I'm bold and courageous and independent and fearless. The Asheville trip was scary but fun, liberating and new, and I can't wait to feel uncomfortable and out of my element when I'm nine hours from home making friends with strangers and watching sunsets on the beach. Don't feel sorry for me. Get out there and seek your own adventure.