I sort of feel like I'm in the Gilded Age of teaching...ya know, a super crappy time coated in all the feels I have toward educating the children; at this point, it's the only thing that keeps me getting up every day. It's the Gilded Age because I am actually happy, not stressed, that we've missed three days in a row and will probably miss a fourth on Monday because of blizzard-like conditions that swooped in overnight. I literally have sat on the same couch cushion for three days straight with minimal moving. I've managed to make it to the gym once, go for a snowy walk, break out the Wii for Just Dance 3, and get myself inordinate amounts of food and La Croix waters from the kitchen (luckily in the same room as the couch). A year ago, I would have cheered, then jeered, at the thought of so many snow days in a row, and now? Now, I'm jaded. Having that 20-something moment of needing to "find myself" career wise. On top of that, you can only sit on the same piece of furniture with your cat while talking to your boyfriend on the phone without thinking, "wow, I'm literally snowed in with a furry man cat. I am sort of a cat lady." Le sigh.
I haven't worn real clothes in three days. THREE DAYS. And no, gym clothes don't count. Spandex in public is really only acceptable if you're going to or coming from the gym. Take note, ladies.
So, after fighting with a spaghetti squash for 15 minutes, I'm sitting here smelling the yummies bake in the oven while I formulate a million 'what ifs' in my head for the near future. Instead of divulging too much, I'll just tell you more about me from the perspective of the children:
I am an idiot. I know nothing about college, student loans (or how to avoid them), ACT scores, or scholarships. As a matter of fact, I should just stop trying to tell them things because I just sound stupid when I "lecture" about having a plan for the future.
I still have no idea how to be a good teacher. I certainly know nothing about Shakespeare or English, and I really should stop with all this history stuff about Rome because what in the world does that have to do with reading and writing about Julius Caesar?
White girls can cook? ANNNNNDDDD bake?
Apparently I'm the most generous person ever: one child literally takes my water every day and guzzles it after lunch. "Thanks, Ms. Freeman!" You're welcome, I guess. I mean, is it couth to say "thank you" when you didn't ask in the first place?
I don't understand the difference in late and on time. I mean, I should totally let you in if you're sprinting down the hallway and still around the corner when the bell rings. Shame on me for making you get a note to class. I'll work on that.
I am a social outcast because I don't watch Empire. I can't believe I don't know who pushed pookie or boo boo or bae down the stairs last week.
Sit in chairs? Who sits in chairs? On their bottoms? Looking respectable? I missed the memo where we sprawl across desks and chairs because we're 'tired' and just don't feel like learning today. Next visitor to my room should expect me face down on the lectern. I can totally teach that way.
Whoever came up with putting things away after you use them should be placed in front of a firing squad. How dare I ask the children to push in their chairs and put away the borrowed pencils at the end of class. And stack textbooks? No. That's doin' too much.
Leave school at 3pm when I'm allowed to walk out the door? Well, if judgmental looks and mumbles from the permanent fixtures are all I have to worry about as I grab my belongings at 2:59, I'll surely shake them off at the slam of the heavy metal door. Some people, for their own sanity, get their crap done strategically during planning, before school, and while the children are working. Some of us are over the times where taking work home is the norm. If I took work home at this point, I'd cry all the time, have no boyfriend, and really be a cat lady. No bueno.
So, in the spirit of getting to scrape the cool looking (and super stubborn) spaghetti squash, I'll spare you any further weirdness or insights into my soul. I'll probably watch You've Got Mail for the third time in three days and continue to sit on my couch cushion. C'est la vie, people.
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Friday, January 22, 2016
Thursday, December 10, 2015
"Oh. You don't say?"
I don't know if I should be glad or worried that my skin has thickened to the point that I almost laugh in the face of pretty scathing insults. Maybe it's a matter of survival; maybe I'm becoming increasingly disturbed; or maybe I'm being sucked into some vortex of self confidence that helps me to deflect the loads of crap kids blurt each day. Even if you think you know me well, this week has illuminated things that even I didn't know about myself.
1. English is not History class, so you just need to stop with the History already. Aren't we supposed to be putting those little things in sentences...you know, those things, Ms. Freeman. Commas and stuff.
"Oh. You don't say?"
2. You don't want kids to learn; you just don't know what it means to teach. At least other people want us to do well. You keep failing us because you don't want us to play sports or anything. You're just sad.
"Oh. You don't say?"
3. As a matter of fact, you should just stop teaching the History behind some of this writing. History isn't even real.
"Oh. You don't say?"
4. I don't even know how you got a man who looks like that to like you. You just want everyone to be nerdy, and he is NOT nerdy. But you're probably going to make it.
"Oh. You don't say?"
5. You always follow the rules. Always. You are the only person who follows all the rules all the time. I mean, don't you ever get tired of being nerdy and boring all the time, Ms. Freeman? You really should just break a rule sometime.
"Oh. You don't say?"
6. I know you keep telling us you can't control the thermostat, but I think you just make it cold in here because you know we don't like it. You like it when we're uncomfortable. That's because you're a bad teacher.
"Oh. You don't say?"
7. You don't teach college. You just tell us that because you want to look like you know what you're doing.
"Oh. You don't say?"
8. That's your brother? (pointing to the picture of the boyfriend) Gross! You date your brother?!? You white people don't make sense.
"Oh. You don't say?"
9. You never teach us any English stuff. We're always reading and writing and looking up words and annotating. When are we going to do the English stuff. I don't even think you teach the right stuff.
"Oh. You don't say?"
10. *refuses to complete work; gets progress report* What?! I'm failing?! This is stupid. You think you can just give me grades? That's what you do. You just give out grades because you don't actually want us to do well. Other teachers help us; you never help.
"Oh. You don't say?"
If I continued, I might actually start to question my purpose in life. That, or I'd laugh hysterically to keep from crying at how misguided and skewed the opinions are. For now, I'll don my duck feathers and let it all roll off. According to this bunch, I'm just as well to join the circus. I have a 25lb cat and could probably learn to jump through flaming hula hoops; it may not be a glamorous life, but it sounded cool when I read Water for Elephants.
1. English is not History class, so you just need to stop with the History already. Aren't we supposed to be putting those little things in sentences...you know, those things, Ms. Freeman. Commas and stuff.
"Oh. You don't say?"
2. You don't want kids to learn; you just don't know what it means to teach. At least other people want us to do well. You keep failing us because you don't want us to play sports or anything. You're just sad.
"Oh. You don't say?"
3. As a matter of fact, you should just stop teaching the History behind some of this writing. History isn't even real.
"Oh. You don't say?"
4. I don't even know how you got a man who looks like that to like you. You just want everyone to be nerdy, and he is NOT nerdy. But you're probably going to make it.
"Oh. You don't say?"
5. You always follow the rules. Always. You are the only person who follows all the rules all the time. I mean, don't you ever get tired of being nerdy and boring all the time, Ms. Freeman? You really should just break a rule sometime.
"Oh. You don't say?"
6. I know you keep telling us you can't control the thermostat, but I think you just make it cold in here because you know we don't like it. You like it when we're uncomfortable. That's because you're a bad teacher.
"Oh. You don't say?"
7. You don't teach college. You just tell us that because you want to look like you know what you're doing.
"Oh. You don't say?"
8. That's your brother? (pointing to the picture of the boyfriend) Gross! You date your brother?!? You white people don't make sense.
"Oh. You don't say?"
9. You never teach us any English stuff. We're always reading and writing and looking up words and annotating. When are we going to do the English stuff. I don't even think you teach the right stuff.
"Oh. You don't say?"
10. *refuses to complete work; gets progress report* What?! I'm failing?! This is stupid. You think you can just give me grades? That's what you do. You just give out grades because you don't actually want us to do well. Other teachers help us; you never help.
"Oh. You don't say?"
If I continued, I might actually start to question my purpose in life. That, or I'd laugh hysterically to keep from crying at how misguided and skewed the opinions are. For now, I'll don my duck feathers and let it all roll off. According to this bunch, I'm just as well to join the circus. I have a 25lb cat and could probably learn to jump through flaming hula hoops; it may not be a glamorous life, but it sounded cool when I read Water for Elephants.
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Everything I needed to know about life I've learned in the last four months.
If you said you understood my current plight, my affinity for stress baking, or the rusty brakes on my struggle bus, I'd say, "You flagin'!" "Get your life!" and "That's dead."
You don't. You can't. You don't want to. I'm somewhere between questioning purpose and throwing caution to the wind, and the middle ground...well, it slipped out from underneath me a few weeks back. From tears to necessary laughter, from disbelief and doubt to accidental recognition and praise, I've run the gamut of feelings, and I don't think any SEL training in the world can help me make sense of them. Every time I sit down to blog or to write in a journal, my proverbial pen leaks all over the place, and I'm left with a mess of things that I can't quite manipulate into cohesive thoughts. So, I just don't. And, there's the explanation for the four month hiatus. As far as the life lessons I've acquired in the last four months? Imagine that "Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten" poster and read on, friends.
1. Change is good, even if it's not quite the change you expected. 2. Meeting new people is fun, especially when you have to trust one of them, on day #1, not to let you fall off a rock wall in Nashville. 3. I now understand what it means to have a work spouse. My work husband can be appeased with baked goods, and he's basically the male version of me, so we get along swimmingly. 4. Inner city children are bold and brazen when it comes to navigating the city, but they have no clue what it means to tackle seemingly impossible academic tasks. 5. Being called racist and told to "go back to where you came from" hurts in the moment, but you cry later. They will eat you if you cry in front of them. 6. Thick skin is necessary in teaching; however, body armor is essential on some days. 7. Too many people don't stand up for their talents or fight for their rights. 8. Those same people are too afraid to challenge authority for fear it might make them appear insubordinate or noncompliant. 9. Always use your resources. They're there for a reason. If the person on the other end of the phone or email isn't providing what you want or need, push the issue appropriately. See 7 and 8. 10. It's hard to be super invested when you don't quite feel like you belong. 11. Time doesn't heal everything, but it provides clarity, even when you feel like driving into the fog will result in a monumental crash. 12. Pep Rally doesn't take on the same meaning in the city. 13. Twerking is a serious skill. 14. People are increasingly easy to read as I age; however, teenagers are, and always will be, ticking little time bombs. 15. People who don't know me don't like that I speak my mind and stand up for myself. It's in my nature. No gray area here. 16. I know what I'm doing even if you think I don't. We all have things to learn, but we all deserve praise for what we already do well. 17. Job security fear is a real thing. People who feel they have something to lose don't surround themselves with smarter folks. 18. Some people cannot discern the difference between discipline and attitude. 19. Respect, to some, means letting them do whatever they want, when they want. Where I come from, respect is earned not demanded. 20. Name calling, vandalism, and defiance top the list for "I'll show you" behaviors. 21. Violence is the answer for some people. 22. I make a mean u-turn when a kid is running down the street with a gun in one hand and the other hand in the air to avoid police gunfire. 23. Environment effects change on personality. I might curse a bit more than normal. *embarrassed face here* 24. The value of sleep is underestimated by the school system. 7am class is for the birds. 25. "If it's out, it's fair game" is the philosophy of borrowing vs. stealing. 26. A city block can make all the difference in someone's quality of life and available opportunities. 27. I'll never again check school email on my phone. You should delete your app, too. For once, leave school at school. 28. Never underestimate the power of someone to embarrass you in a faculty meeting by screaming, "I learned that Ms. Freeman's Thanksgiving break highlight is that she tends to like making sexualized cookies." Long story on that one... 29. When your work husband gets wind of sexualized cookies, he's gonna dare you to blurt things aloud and make you laugh from across the room. 30. Doing the running man in the hallway just before saying, "BLESSINGS!" makes the potential crazy you're walking into seem a little more tolerable.
I plan to add to my list. But, for the sake of time and sleep (beautiful, beautiful sleep), I'm going to end on a cliff hanger and come back for more sometime this week. I've yet to cover traffic, today's teenager assumption that "history isn't real," and the relationship between super short hair and the word "dyke." Enjoy, my lovelies. The hiatus is over.
You don't. You can't. You don't want to. I'm somewhere between questioning purpose and throwing caution to the wind, and the middle ground...well, it slipped out from underneath me a few weeks back. From tears to necessary laughter, from disbelief and doubt to accidental recognition and praise, I've run the gamut of feelings, and I don't think any SEL training in the world can help me make sense of them. Every time I sit down to blog or to write in a journal, my proverbial pen leaks all over the place, and I'm left with a mess of things that I can't quite manipulate into cohesive thoughts. So, I just don't. And, there's the explanation for the four month hiatus. As far as the life lessons I've acquired in the last four months? Imagine that "Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten" poster and read on, friends.
1. Change is good, even if it's not quite the change you expected. 2. Meeting new people is fun, especially when you have to trust one of them, on day #1, not to let you fall off a rock wall in Nashville. 3. I now understand what it means to have a work spouse. My work husband can be appeased with baked goods, and he's basically the male version of me, so we get along swimmingly. 4. Inner city children are bold and brazen when it comes to navigating the city, but they have no clue what it means to tackle seemingly impossible academic tasks. 5. Being called racist and told to "go back to where you came from" hurts in the moment, but you cry later. They will eat you if you cry in front of them. 6. Thick skin is necessary in teaching; however, body armor is essential on some days. 7. Too many people don't stand up for their talents or fight for their rights. 8. Those same people are too afraid to challenge authority for fear it might make them appear insubordinate or noncompliant. 9. Always use your resources. They're there for a reason. If the person on the other end of the phone or email isn't providing what you want or need, push the issue appropriately. See 7 and 8. 10. It's hard to be super invested when you don't quite feel like you belong. 11. Time doesn't heal everything, but it provides clarity, even when you feel like driving into the fog will result in a monumental crash. 12. Pep Rally doesn't take on the same meaning in the city. 13. Twerking is a serious skill. 14. People are increasingly easy to read as I age; however, teenagers are, and always will be, ticking little time bombs. 15. People who don't know me don't like that I speak my mind and stand up for myself. It's in my nature. No gray area here. 16. I know what I'm doing even if you think I don't. We all have things to learn, but we all deserve praise for what we already do well. 17. Job security fear is a real thing. People who feel they have something to lose don't surround themselves with smarter folks. 18. Some people cannot discern the difference between discipline and attitude. 19. Respect, to some, means letting them do whatever they want, when they want. Where I come from, respect is earned not demanded. 20. Name calling, vandalism, and defiance top the list for "I'll show you" behaviors. 21. Violence is the answer for some people. 22. I make a mean u-turn when a kid is running down the street with a gun in one hand and the other hand in the air to avoid police gunfire. 23. Environment effects change on personality. I might curse a bit more than normal. *embarrassed face here* 24. The value of sleep is underestimated by the school system. 7am class is for the birds. 25. "If it's out, it's fair game" is the philosophy of borrowing vs. stealing. 26. A city block can make all the difference in someone's quality of life and available opportunities. 27. I'll never again check school email on my phone. You should delete your app, too. For once, leave school at school. 28. Never underestimate the power of someone to embarrass you in a faculty meeting by screaming, "I learned that Ms. Freeman's Thanksgiving break highlight is that she tends to like making sexualized cookies." Long story on that one... 29. When your work husband gets wind of sexualized cookies, he's gonna dare you to blurt things aloud and make you laugh from across the room. 30. Doing the running man in the hallway just before saying, "BLESSINGS!" makes the potential crazy you're walking into seem a little more tolerable.
I plan to add to my list. But, for the sake of time and sleep (beautiful, beautiful sleep), I'm going to end on a cliff hanger and come back for more sometime this week. I've yet to cover traffic, today's teenager assumption that "history isn't real," and the relationship between super short hair and the word "dyke." Enjoy, my lovelies. The hiatus is over.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
The Firebird Fires Back
The proverbial summer has come to an end, and school begins full force tomorrow. This certainly has been a summer of firsts, seconds, and holy craps and while I'm nervous for everything to come, I know that it's all going to be eye opening and humbling for me. After two months of letting rumors fly, bets be placed, and minds reel, I thought it best to clear the air and set the record straight.
I left Station Camp because...
...it gave me a great start as a public high school teacher, but I had my moment, and it's time for someone else to go in and love the kids. From crying on a daily basis my first year to walking the halls with my tough reputation in tow, I ran the gamut as a bison. Student council, prom, AP Lang Comp, Froshies -- I wouldn't trade a minute of my time at SCHS because it helped me to find myself as an educator; however, I need a new challenge to keep me on my toes so that I can learn more about teaching, about life, and about myself.
I chose Pearl Cohn Entertainment Magnet because...
...I was afforded a great opportunity to leap, so I slid off my floaties and dove head first. The outpouring of community from the teachers and staff (and even the BOE -- education people will understand why this one is a surprise!) has been huge, and I'm glad to have spent a good chunk of my summer working with new "family," not to be confused as replacements for my bison family. This job is different in every way imaginable, and it doesn't require me to give up everything that I love. No, I won't be teaching AP for now, but I will get to continue my involvement in TASC and student council, and I'll have some amazing opportunities to collaborate with teachers all across the school and district.
Why some people think I'm going...
...almost makes me laugh yet simultaneously makes me sad. I am not choosing a turn-around school with a poorer population in order to splint a bunch of broken wings and return baby birdies to the nest; I am choosing a turn-around school with a poorer population because I need a challenge to become a better teacher. I need a kid with the guts to go toe to toe with me; a kid who desperately tries to get people to give up on him even though he needs them to stick around; a kid who will force me to ask myself how to do my job better and who will constantly force me to ask "who am I?" and "what is my purpose?"
What some people secretly think but won't say to my face...
is a bit disheartening. Even if it's out of worry, it hurts my feelings that people who supposedly know me well wonder if I truly know what challenge I've accepted...some even think I'll beg to have my old job back. Naive is something I try not to be; although I'm not always successful, a good majority of the time, I'm cognizant of what it means to trade one set of problems for another. I made the trade. I chose this job, and I'm scared and excited for the challenge.
***
The other thing that makes me sad is that people immediately judge the school and students based on location and past reputation. I have actually been asked if congratulations are in order since it's Pearl Cohn. My response? If you would congratulate someone on taking a new job that is a pay promotion, a good solid challenge, and an opportunity to meet and work with well-trained colleagues, then yes. Congratulations are in order. But please don't wish me well if you don't mean it.
I will miss SCHS dearly because the people there are like family. The emails, comments, lunches, phone calls, etc. have been more than a generous response to my departure. Some of the people I respect the most but never knew thought so highly of me have passed along precious advice and regard for my new adventure. The biggest compliments have come from the students surprised to hear I'm leaving. Not one (and that is not an exaggeration) has questioned my motives but, instead, they've encouraged me and maintained that it's a move fitting for my personality. It's sad to leave the children, but I get to inherit new ones. :)
Regardless of what you think, I know why I'm making a change. So much has transpired since the beginning of May, and I can't even begin to explain it all. I don't need to. Stay tuned. I hear each day will be a helluva story, and those who know me well will expect a blog of follies. Oh man, I can only imagine I'll have them.
I left Station Camp because...
...it gave me a great start as a public high school teacher, but I had my moment, and it's time for someone else to go in and love the kids. From crying on a daily basis my first year to walking the halls with my tough reputation in tow, I ran the gamut as a bison. Student council, prom, AP Lang Comp, Froshies -- I wouldn't trade a minute of my time at SCHS because it helped me to find myself as an educator; however, I need a new challenge to keep me on my toes so that I can learn more about teaching, about life, and about myself.
I chose Pearl Cohn Entertainment Magnet because...
...I was afforded a great opportunity to leap, so I slid off my floaties and dove head first. The outpouring of community from the teachers and staff (and even the BOE -- education people will understand why this one is a surprise!) has been huge, and I'm glad to have spent a good chunk of my summer working with new "family," not to be confused as replacements for my bison family. This job is different in every way imaginable, and it doesn't require me to give up everything that I love. No, I won't be teaching AP for now, but I will get to continue my involvement in TASC and student council, and I'll have some amazing opportunities to collaborate with teachers all across the school and district.
Why some people think I'm going...
...almost makes me laugh yet simultaneously makes me sad. I am not choosing a turn-around school with a poorer population in order to splint a bunch of broken wings and return baby birdies to the nest; I am choosing a turn-around school with a poorer population because I need a challenge to become a better teacher. I need a kid with the guts to go toe to toe with me; a kid who desperately tries to get people to give up on him even though he needs them to stick around; a kid who will force me to ask myself how to do my job better and who will constantly force me to ask "who am I?" and "what is my purpose?"
What some people secretly think but won't say to my face...
is a bit disheartening. Even if it's out of worry, it hurts my feelings that people who supposedly know me well wonder if I truly know what challenge I've accepted...some even think I'll beg to have my old job back. Naive is something I try not to be; although I'm not always successful, a good majority of the time, I'm cognizant of what it means to trade one set of problems for another. I made the trade. I chose this job, and I'm scared and excited for the challenge.
***
The other thing that makes me sad is that people immediately judge the school and students based on location and past reputation. I have actually been asked if congratulations are in order since it's Pearl Cohn. My response? If you would congratulate someone on taking a new job that is a pay promotion, a good solid challenge, and an opportunity to meet and work with well-trained colleagues, then yes. Congratulations are in order. But please don't wish me well if you don't mean it.
I will miss SCHS dearly because the people there are like family. The emails, comments, lunches, phone calls, etc. have been more than a generous response to my departure. Some of the people I respect the most but never knew thought so highly of me have passed along precious advice and regard for my new adventure. The biggest compliments have come from the students surprised to hear I'm leaving. Not one (and that is not an exaggeration) has questioned my motives but, instead, they've encouraged me and maintained that it's a move fitting for my personality. It's sad to leave the children, but I get to inherit new ones. :)
Regardless of what you think, I know why I'm making a change. So much has transpired since the beginning of May, and I can't even begin to explain it all. I don't need to. Stay tuned. I hear each day will be a helluva story, and those who know me well will expect a blog of follies. Oh man, I can only imagine I'll have them.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
"Free, I'm going to have to teach you."
Free. Free-Free. - noun. 1. uninhibited; open 2. term of endearment for a teacher by the name of Ms. Freeman
synonyms: ash ash free free; meanie; hard nose; strict; tough
For all of the complaining (about me) that wafts through the hallways at school, the love that follows is certainly more abundant. The kids who know me well from class or student council know that I'm not mean: I'm a tough love, hold-the-bar-high kind of lady. I genuinely want them to do well and don't take their mess or excuses for why they aren't performing up to par. Every semester, former students dip into my room between classes and after school to profess their love and fond memories of classes gone by. My heart smiles just a bit when they come in with big grins and goofy waves because it makes that current parent email that's told me I should never have kids seem like a blip on my proverbial radar. As much as I love my little stinkers, I sometimes wish they weren't so invested in my potential love life. The grand ideas that cross their minds crack me up, so I thought you might get a laugh out of them too. :)
"Ms. Freeman, you're like the teacher version of Beyonce." = Win
"Ms. Freeman, how many cats do you have?"
"One."
"Oh, we were talking at lunch and totally see you with cats forever." = Fail
"Ms. Freeman, did you grade our papers this weekend?"
"No. I have a life."
"Did you go on a date?"
"Yes."
"Can you stand the way his face looks for the rest of your life?"
"I'm not sure yet. We haven't known one another long enough for me to determine that."
"Oh, well, it's cool that you went on a date." = Win
"Mrs. Freeman."
"I'm not a Mrs. Just Ms./Miss. I'm not married."
"Why aren't you married?"
"Well, that's a good question. I don't rightly know."
"Aww, well, aren't you like 30 something?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I guess most people are married by the time they're 30. Are you going to be a cat lady or something?"
"Um, no. Do I look like a cat lady?"
"Kinda. We talked at lunch and decided you look like you could live alone with cats forever." - Fail"
"Ms. Freeman, your hair is on fleek."
"What does that mean? Is it good or bad?"
"Oh, it's good. It's gucci, cool, on point." = Win
"Ms. Freeman, can we watch a Simon's cat video? They're hilarious."
"Yeah, we'll watch one before we leave."
"Do you like these because you're a cat lady?"
"No. I like them because anyone who owns cats know they ring true."
"Oh. Well, you have a cat, so that makes you a cat lady...right?" = Fail
"I love this class. People say you're mean, but I tell them you're just strict, not mean."
"Well thank you."
"And you're funny. You're a funny cat lady." = Win/Fail
So, it appears the trend here is that I look like a cat lady? I've stared long and hard in the mirror, and I'm not seeing it, but the children have spoken, and I guess I need to steer clear of adopting another kitty, or I may will their prophecy true. Cool hair: check. Cool clothes: check. Fun Personality: check. WHY DO I LOOK LIKE A CAT LADY TO THE CHILDREN?!?
My next pet will inevitably have to be a fish. No one will ever say, "Ms. Freeman, you strike me as a fish lady." = Win.
synonyms: ash ash free free; meanie; hard nose; strict; tough
For all of the complaining (about me) that wafts through the hallways at school, the love that follows is certainly more abundant. The kids who know me well from class or student council know that I'm not mean: I'm a tough love, hold-the-bar-high kind of lady. I genuinely want them to do well and don't take their mess or excuses for why they aren't performing up to par. Every semester, former students dip into my room between classes and after school to profess their love and fond memories of classes gone by. My heart smiles just a bit when they come in with big grins and goofy waves because it makes that current parent email that's told me I should never have kids seem like a blip on my proverbial radar. As much as I love my little stinkers, I sometimes wish they weren't so invested in my potential love life. The grand ideas that cross their minds crack me up, so I thought you might get a laugh out of them too. :)
"Ms. Freeman, you're like the teacher version of Beyonce." = Win
"Ms. Freeman, how many cats do you have?"
"One."
"Oh, we were talking at lunch and totally see you with cats forever." = Fail
"Ms. Freeman, did you grade our papers this weekend?"
"No. I have a life."
"Did you go on a date?"
"Yes."
"Can you stand the way his face looks for the rest of your life?"
"I'm not sure yet. We haven't known one another long enough for me to determine that."
"Oh, well, it's cool that you went on a date." = Win
"Mrs. Freeman."
"I'm not a Mrs. Just Ms./Miss. I'm not married."
"Why aren't you married?"
"Well, that's a good question. I don't rightly know."
"Aww, well, aren't you like 30 something?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I guess most people are married by the time they're 30. Are you going to be a cat lady or something?"
"Um, no. Do I look like a cat lady?"
"Kinda. We talked at lunch and decided you look like you could live alone with cats forever." - Fail"
"Ms. Freeman, your hair is on fleek."
"What does that mean? Is it good or bad?"
"Oh, it's good. It's gucci, cool, on point." = Win
"Ms. Freeman, can we watch a Simon's cat video? They're hilarious."
"Yeah, we'll watch one before we leave."
"Do you like these because you're a cat lady?"
"No. I like them because anyone who owns cats know they ring true."
"Oh. Well, you have a cat, so that makes you a cat lady...right?" = Fail
"I love this class. People say you're mean, but I tell them you're just strict, not mean."
"Well thank you."
"And you're funny. You're a funny cat lady." = Win/Fail
So, it appears the trend here is that I look like a cat lady? I've stared long and hard in the mirror, and I'm not seeing it, but the children have spoken, and I guess I need to steer clear of adopting another kitty, or I may will their prophecy true. Cool hair: check. Cool clothes: check. Fun Personality: check. WHY DO I LOOK LIKE A CAT LADY TO THE CHILDREN?!?
My next pet will inevitably have to be a fish. No one will ever say, "Ms. Freeman, you strike me as a fish lady." = Win.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Maybe I'm getting old...
NAH! I'm not old; I'm just wiser and more irritated by rhythmic clicking noises these days. Being a teacher teaches you patience and discipline; however, it doesn't make you any less of a person, and this person can't handle some of the crazy lately. Freshmen are my niche...they're my perfect age group, my personality's best complement, but sometimes I'd like to wring their necks as I'm laughing at their ridiculous antics. Below, you'll find a few things that could potentially cause Ms. Freeman's head to explode (or at least cause her to talk bad to ya). :)
Pen Clicking
Oh. My. Word. Pen clicking is something that seriously makes me want to jump atop a desk and scream a string of non-sensical obscenities. It ranks right up there with gum smacking and loud eating, and I just can't handle it. I did, however, have a funny incident two weeks ago with my goofy 3rd block freshmen class: the one pen clicker in the group organized a mass pen clicking after lunch, sort of a flash mob of annoying behavior. It was clever, and I laughed after the fact, but when I opened the door and 22 fourteen-year olds were clicking pens in both hands, I thought I'd made an accidental detour to hell. Those little boogers are intuitive, and they've learned my personality enough to know what can be funny and what can't. Nice move, froshy. Nice move.
Over Talkers
You probably read this and have no idea to whom I'm referring. Well, over talkers are worse than interrupters: interrupters butt in and most of the time correct the faux pas by apologizing and waiting their turn; however, over talkers interrupt by talking over you until you stop talking to hear them out. I get excited and talk a blue streak, sometimes resulting in unintentional interruption, but I've never talked over a person (who is clearly addressing me or others) as a means of forcing myself to be heard. This is beyond rude and might as well be nails on a chalkboard as far as I'm concerned. Over talkers have thoughts and just start speaking without regard for those already in the act; these are people, in my opinion, who should practice LISTENING. The worst part is that I don't know any child over talkers: the couple culprits I know are adults. For shame.
Sob Stories
Station Camp goers hear that old Ms. Freeman is a meanie with no heart who clearly rides her broom to school every day. She eats children as a snack, does a great "I don't care" face, and her raised eyebrow can melt you into the back of a chair. Some of that is true; however, she's not a meanie just because she doesn't grab a Kleenex at your latest version of "I didn't do my homework because..." story. People, life will not listen to your sob story and throw you a bone; life will not give you something for nothing; life will kick your behind and leave you waiting for an apology -- FOREVER. Learn the responsibility here because Ms. Freeman cares about you, not because she enjoys seeing your pathetic little faces and sticky tears when you realize #4 clearly states, "Late work will not be accepted" and she actually sticks to her guns. One day, you'll appreciate the tough love. One day, when you realize all those meanie teachers knew what they were talking about way back when.
Snobby Snubbers
Oh, yeah. You're all too familiar with people who think they're too good for stuff. It's infuriating to be around people who think rules don't apply to them or who think they're above "menial" activity. Pshh. The mindset that you're too good to do something is more a cover up for the fact that you're EXACTLY the person to do it. "This is stupid." "Why are we doing this?" "You're the only person who makes us work." Shut your face holes! A free dumb look and an eyebrow raise later, I'll be the first to say that I'm not too good for any activity. The things that seem beneath us are typically what make us stronger. Oh, you don't like wearing an ID? Well, no one asked if you like it; it's a rule, and you're no exception. You don't want to accompany your class to assembly? Well, it's our job to supervise the kids during school events, and those papers can wait. Kids and adults alike can be jerks about following rules and getting things done, and it gives the goody two shoes like me a bad wrap. Oh well. My momma taught me to do the right thing regardless of popularity, so I'll keep trudging on. Rule followers unite!
School Bashers
Ugh. Teenagers (and some adults) confuse school spirit with school bashing. What could be friendly competition turns into vandalism, hateful social media, and trash talk that fosters unfair assumptions about neighboring schools and organizations. "Gallatin is a ghetto school." "Beech kids do so many drugs." "I bet there are 30 pregnant girls in Portland because they don't have anything better to do there." "Station Camp thinks they're so entitled." "Hendersonville is just a bunch of rich snobs." Shut up. It's one thing to make the occasional crack but to foster such negativity that clearly constitutes sweeping generalizations about rival schools is just asinine. Every school has rich, poor, dumb, smart, drugs, fights, gangs, etc. To say that any one school in this county is primarily X,Y or Z just isn't a fair representation. Oh, and by the way, that "ghetto" school is where I got my incredible education; I frequently remind the kids that deep down there's a little green and gold floating around in my blood.
Well, this is probably the first of many installments that begs the question, "Am I getting old, or are these things really just annoying?" What things just fly all over you?
Pen Clicking
Oh. My. Word. Pen clicking is something that seriously makes me want to jump atop a desk and scream a string of non-sensical obscenities. It ranks right up there with gum smacking and loud eating, and I just can't handle it. I did, however, have a funny incident two weeks ago with my goofy 3rd block freshmen class: the one pen clicker in the group organized a mass pen clicking after lunch, sort of a flash mob of annoying behavior. It was clever, and I laughed after the fact, but when I opened the door and 22 fourteen-year olds were clicking pens in both hands, I thought I'd made an accidental detour to hell. Those little boogers are intuitive, and they've learned my personality enough to know what can be funny and what can't. Nice move, froshy. Nice move.
Over Talkers
You probably read this and have no idea to whom I'm referring. Well, over talkers are worse than interrupters: interrupters butt in and most of the time correct the faux pas by apologizing and waiting their turn; however, over talkers interrupt by talking over you until you stop talking to hear them out. I get excited and talk a blue streak, sometimes resulting in unintentional interruption, but I've never talked over a person (who is clearly addressing me or others) as a means of forcing myself to be heard. This is beyond rude and might as well be nails on a chalkboard as far as I'm concerned. Over talkers have thoughts and just start speaking without regard for those already in the act; these are people, in my opinion, who should practice LISTENING. The worst part is that I don't know any child over talkers: the couple culprits I know are adults. For shame.
Sob Stories
Station Camp goers hear that old Ms. Freeman is a meanie with no heart who clearly rides her broom to school every day. She eats children as a snack, does a great "I don't care" face, and her raised eyebrow can melt you into the back of a chair. Some of that is true; however, she's not a meanie just because she doesn't grab a Kleenex at your latest version of "I didn't do my homework because..." story. People, life will not listen to your sob story and throw you a bone; life will not give you something for nothing; life will kick your behind and leave you waiting for an apology -- FOREVER. Learn the responsibility here because Ms. Freeman cares about you, not because she enjoys seeing your pathetic little faces and sticky tears when you realize #4 clearly states, "Late work will not be accepted" and she actually sticks to her guns. One day, you'll appreciate the tough love. One day, when you realize all those meanie teachers knew what they were talking about way back when.
Snobby Snubbers
Oh, yeah. You're all too familiar with people who think they're too good for stuff. It's infuriating to be around people who think rules don't apply to them or who think they're above "menial" activity. Pshh. The mindset that you're too good to do something is more a cover up for the fact that you're EXACTLY the person to do it. "This is stupid." "Why are we doing this?" "You're the only person who makes us work." Shut your face holes! A free dumb look and an eyebrow raise later, I'll be the first to say that I'm not too good for any activity. The things that seem beneath us are typically what make us stronger. Oh, you don't like wearing an ID? Well, no one asked if you like it; it's a rule, and you're no exception. You don't want to accompany your class to assembly? Well, it's our job to supervise the kids during school events, and those papers can wait. Kids and adults alike can be jerks about following rules and getting things done, and it gives the goody two shoes like me a bad wrap. Oh well. My momma taught me to do the right thing regardless of popularity, so I'll keep trudging on. Rule followers unite!
School Bashers
Ugh. Teenagers (and some adults) confuse school spirit with school bashing. What could be friendly competition turns into vandalism, hateful social media, and trash talk that fosters unfair assumptions about neighboring schools and organizations. "Gallatin is a ghetto school." "Beech kids do so many drugs." "I bet there are 30 pregnant girls in Portland because they don't have anything better to do there." "Station Camp thinks they're so entitled." "Hendersonville is just a bunch of rich snobs." Shut up. It's one thing to make the occasional crack but to foster such negativity that clearly constitutes sweeping generalizations about rival schools is just asinine. Every school has rich, poor, dumb, smart, drugs, fights, gangs, etc. To say that any one school in this county is primarily X,Y or Z just isn't a fair representation. Oh, and by the way, that "ghetto" school is where I got my incredible education; I frequently remind the kids that deep down there's a little green and gold floating around in my blood.
Well, this is probably the first of many installments that begs the question, "Am I getting old, or are these things really just annoying?" What things just fly all over you?
Friday, July 25, 2014
She works hard for the money...or, at least, she's about to.
Monday. Monday marks the beginning of the school year -- a time when teachers resolve themselves to pasty skin tones, mounds of paperwork, and the best part: taking your children off your hands for ten months (did anyone sense the sarcasm??).
We love your children; however, we feel your frustrations of trying to "entertain" them when they're in our care 7 hours a day, five days a week. I'll be the first to argue that parents hate summer break, or any break for that matter, because they have to find childcare and activities to occupy the kiddos and because kids, en masse, can sometimes drive a man...or a momma...to drinking. Even the best parents out there get a tad annoyed at the kids, and I think they all enjoy the steady schedule of a ten-month school year. Summer marks a time when more money and time has to be spent making sure everyone is taken care of, and things become a bit hectic. What tickles me about the whole teachers on break crazy is that the general public has no problem complaining to teachers about how much "free time" they have, yet they forget that for ten months out of the year, teachers are parents' lifelines. We educate and entertain the children, and that is a hard job. For those of you who believe we sit around in blue jean jumpers wearing wooden necklaces while eating apples, listen up. It ain't that pretty.
Educator
Noun - one with a firm belief that everyone can accomplish something; one willing to compromise dignity and sanity for the wellbeing of others; one lacking the desire to live lavishly and in favor of spreading common sense and intelligence throughout the land.
We don't know everything. Most of us qualify as masters in our fields; however, we are learning each and every day. All of those little neurosurgeons out there can thank a handful of teachers for teaching them facts and statistics and writing skills and brain hemispheres, but all of those teachers can thank those former students for teaching them patience, imagination, and innovation. The world is ever changing, and while I'd love to see a glimmer of excitement in every 13yr old's eye when I introduce Shakespeare, I have to approach the literature with real-life application in mind. I teach English not necessarily because I'm trying to instill a love of books in children but because I'm trying to help the students learn life skills that will follow them into various stages of existence. Fifteen years ago, my teachers weren't concerned with email etiquette, but now...now, that's a vital part of everyday writing skills that kids and adults need to know. As an educator, I have to research and study so that I can keep up with what upcoming students need to know. It's my job to venture beyond what I was taught in school and educate myself so that I can educate others.
Anyone imagining this an easy task is oblivious to the work and time that we put into making sure your kids are properly equipped to go into the workforce or college atmosphere. We aren't paid for specific trainings when there's an argument over whether or not to use the Oxford comma or when MLA decides to take out a period that's been there for two decades. We just have to keep up, sans a large meeting room with dozens of donuts and free coffee. Unfortunately, a popular idiom discredits the struggle that is maintaining relevance in education: "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach." So. Not. True. I will always attest that I learn more about something when I'm teaching it than I did when I originally learned it. To do often only requires minimal attention; to teach requires seeing beyond what appears to be. When's the last time you thought about how hard that is? Next time you try to teach a child to tie a shoe, think about how you have to break it down in order to make sense of it. It's frustrating to take something so mindless to you and try to get another human being to do it with ease. That's our every day...with more complicated material.
Entertainer
Noun - one with the desire to make others happy; one with the ability to stave off boredom; one creative enough to make others forget temporarily that important things are happening around them; a teacher.
Yep. I've said it before, and I'll reiterate it here: a good teacher is a one-man Broadway show without all of the acclaim...or a stitch of dignity to speak of. In good entertainment, the gloves are off, no holds barred, all the world's a stage, and every other cliche idiom applies. If I had a nickel for every sword fight I've staged with myself while teaching the first two pages of Romeo and Juliet, I'd have...well, I'd have like $.70, but that's not the point. The point is that I've had to throw caution to the wind and walk into a room spouting Whitman's "O' Captain, My Captain" if I want the kids to care about it. I've jumped on a windowsill to demonstrate the emotion of Juliet during the famed balcony scene of Shakespeare's romantic tragedy; I've spoken in a ridiculous southern accent in order to capture the distress and hyperbole that is Blanche DuBois in William's A Streetcar Named Desire; I've pretended to peer out of a bunker during war as a means to convey the trepidation of soldiers in the night. All of this is entertainment for the students, but it gets them thinking...ah ha! My job: make the children think.
179 days of 180, I hear, "Why are we doing this? This is stupid! I hate this. No one else is making us work because it's Friday. You always make us work." After growing a relatively thick skin, I learned to edutain, for it is the ONLY way to make them understand the means to the ends.
"Today, class, you're going to imagine you have a career. You would like a week off from work for vacation, but it has to be requested in writing. We'll assume you're sending this correspondence in the form of an email to your boss. You have ten minutes to compose this email, and your boss will provide immediate feedback."
Now, after I scan the room and see 98% of the little stinkers rolling their eyes, I call on the one brave kid who asks, "how is this relevant to English class?" Yes! That's the question I wanted.
"Well, young grasshopper, part of my job is to help you write properly for a variety of situations. One day, you will need to ask off for vacation; however, your approach and appropriate writing skills will determine whether or not the request is granted."
Of course they still don't see the relevance, but when I collect the "emails" and read them out loud, the learning begins. I'm the boss, and those requests are getting on-the-spot answers...some of those answers are a big fat NO and a "please pack your desk." It's funny, yet scary for them to hear that one inappropriate word choice or one ill sentence structure can make or break an entire job in their futures. Edutainment folks...it's how we reach your kids. That's hard.
All of this being said, I am not a momma (One day, hopefully, but not yet); however, I feel your frustrations of having to entertain and to teach your children skills that will make or break their futures. You're frustrated about 8-10 weeks out of 52 that you have to occupy with entertaining, educating, feeding, etc., and you're quick to bash us for posting pool pictures and "school's out" statuses, but before you mutter obscenities under your breath as you snack on a stale donut at your office desk while admiring the 90 degree sunshine through a distant window, remember that we've devoted our lives to your kids, and we do everything we can for those ten months a year to make sure you see little Johnny sashay across a stage and go out into the world in pursuit of a decent living.
Ease up on teachers, world; we deserve a break, too.
We love your children; however, we feel your frustrations of trying to "entertain" them when they're in our care 7 hours a day, five days a week. I'll be the first to argue that parents hate summer break, or any break for that matter, because they have to find childcare and activities to occupy the kiddos and because kids, en masse, can sometimes drive a man...or a momma...to drinking. Even the best parents out there get a tad annoyed at the kids, and I think they all enjoy the steady schedule of a ten-month school year. Summer marks a time when more money and time has to be spent making sure everyone is taken care of, and things become a bit hectic. What tickles me about the whole teachers on break crazy is that the general public has no problem complaining to teachers about how much "free time" they have, yet they forget that for ten months out of the year, teachers are parents' lifelines. We educate and entertain the children, and that is a hard job. For those of you who believe we sit around in blue jean jumpers wearing wooden necklaces while eating apples, listen up. It ain't that pretty.
Educator
Noun - one with a firm belief that everyone can accomplish something; one willing to compromise dignity and sanity for the wellbeing of others; one lacking the desire to live lavishly and in favor of spreading common sense and intelligence throughout the land.
We don't know everything. Most of us qualify as masters in our fields; however, we are learning each and every day. All of those little neurosurgeons out there can thank a handful of teachers for teaching them facts and statistics and writing skills and brain hemispheres, but all of those teachers can thank those former students for teaching them patience, imagination, and innovation. The world is ever changing, and while I'd love to see a glimmer of excitement in every 13yr old's eye when I introduce Shakespeare, I have to approach the literature with real-life application in mind. I teach English not necessarily because I'm trying to instill a love of books in children but because I'm trying to help the students learn life skills that will follow them into various stages of existence. Fifteen years ago, my teachers weren't concerned with email etiquette, but now...now, that's a vital part of everyday writing skills that kids and adults need to know. As an educator, I have to research and study so that I can keep up with what upcoming students need to know. It's my job to venture beyond what I was taught in school and educate myself so that I can educate others.
Anyone imagining this an easy task is oblivious to the work and time that we put into making sure your kids are properly equipped to go into the workforce or college atmosphere. We aren't paid for specific trainings when there's an argument over whether or not to use the Oxford comma or when MLA decides to take out a period that's been there for two decades. We just have to keep up, sans a large meeting room with dozens of donuts and free coffee. Unfortunately, a popular idiom discredits the struggle that is maintaining relevance in education: "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach." So. Not. True. I will always attest that I learn more about something when I'm teaching it than I did when I originally learned it. To do often only requires minimal attention; to teach requires seeing beyond what appears to be. When's the last time you thought about how hard that is? Next time you try to teach a child to tie a shoe, think about how you have to break it down in order to make sense of it. It's frustrating to take something so mindless to you and try to get another human being to do it with ease. That's our every day...with more complicated material.
Entertainer
Noun - one with the desire to make others happy; one with the ability to stave off boredom; one creative enough to make others forget temporarily that important things are happening around them; a teacher.
Yep. I've said it before, and I'll reiterate it here: a good teacher is a one-man Broadway show without all of the acclaim...or a stitch of dignity to speak of. In good entertainment, the gloves are off, no holds barred, all the world's a stage, and every other cliche idiom applies. If I had a nickel for every sword fight I've staged with myself while teaching the first two pages of Romeo and Juliet, I'd have...well, I'd have like $.70, but that's not the point. The point is that I've had to throw caution to the wind and walk into a room spouting Whitman's "O' Captain, My Captain" if I want the kids to care about it. I've jumped on a windowsill to demonstrate the emotion of Juliet during the famed balcony scene of Shakespeare's romantic tragedy; I've spoken in a ridiculous southern accent in order to capture the distress and hyperbole that is Blanche DuBois in William's A Streetcar Named Desire; I've pretended to peer out of a bunker during war as a means to convey the trepidation of soldiers in the night. All of this is entertainment for the students, but it gets them thinking...ah ha! My job: make the children think.
179 days of 180, I hear, "Why are we doing this? This is stupid! I hate this. No one else is making us work because it's Friday. You always make us work." After growing a relatively thick skin, I learned to edutain, for it is the ONLY way to make them understand the means to the ends.
"Today, class, you're going to imagine you have a career. You would like a week off from work for vacation, but it has to be requested in writing. We'll assume you're sending this correspondence in the form of an email to your boss. You have ten minutes to compose this email, and your boss will provide immediate feedback."
Now, after I scan the room and see 98% of the little stinkers rolling their eyes, I call on the one brave kid who asks, "how is this relevant to English class?" Yes! That's the question I wanted.
"Well, young grasshopper, part of my job is to help you write properly for a variety of situations. One day, you will need to ask off for vacation; however, your approach and appropriate writing skills will determine whether or not the request is granted."
Of course they still don't see the relevance, but when I collect the "emails" and read them out loud, the learning begins. I'm the boss, and those requests are getting on-the-spot answers...some of those answers are a big fat NO and a "please pack your desk." It's funny, yet scary for them to hear that one inappropriate word choice or one ill sentence structure can make or break an entire job in their futures. Edutainment folks...it's how we reach your kids. That's hard.
All of this being said, I am not a momma (One day, hopefully, but not yet); however, I feel your frustrations of having to entertain and to teach your children skills that will make or break their futures. You're frustrated about 8-10 weeks out of 52 that you have to occupy with entertaining, educating, feeding, etc., and you're quick to bash us for posting pool pictures and "school's out" statuses, but before you mutter obscenities under your breath as you snack on a stale donut at your office desk while admiring the 90 degree sunshine through a distant window, remember that we've devoted our lives to your kids, and we do everything we can for those ten months a year to make sure you see little Johnny sashay across a stage and go out into the world in pursuit of a decent living.
Ease up on teachers, world; we deserve a break, too.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
One more day...
And no. I'm not singing Les Mis style. One more day of school before the children and I get a solid break from one another, and despite the snow days, I'm ready for this break.
Non educators don't understand the NEED for spring break. Next week will most likely piss off the majority of working folks because Monday morning will fill Facebook with jubilant statuses about time off; however, before getting panties in a wad, people should consider that they work for vacation time they can take as they please. We are told when we get our time. Business folks get stressed out, and they can take a week of vacay to recoup; teachers get stressed, and we just have to put on a happy face and hope we don't choke a child before the next scheduled break. That's hard sometimes. Battling a room full of squirmy teens when the weather has just jumped from 30 to 70 overnight is like trying to herd cats. Tomorrow is going to be a case of the security guards trying to keep the inmates from running the asylum. I'm not a superstitious person, but I can attest to the weird behaviors of children on full moons, changes in weather, and before breaks. They lose their minds. For serious.
As they stroll into the room (the ones who actually bother coming to school on the last day before break), you'll have to wonder if an imaginary someone jerked their chains and kicked their mouths into overdrive. One always walks over to the blinds to pull them up for optimal outdoorness on the inside...they're like little plants that need high light. After the chatter and indoor sunbathing ensues, one goofball never fails to ask, "are we doing anything today?" Teachers, this is the perfect moment to slap on that fake smile and say to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job." If you're clever, you'll answer with something quick: "Um, no. I thought we'd celebrate the day before break through interpretive dance. Surprise! You're first!" Expect eye rolls. Teenagers don't like when adults use sarcasm to make them feel dumb. Once you convince them that there really isn't a dvd in the player, they settle in with looks that could kill. The clock gets more glances the day before a break than any other day of the year, and time, of course, passes at a handicapped snail's pace. Fight the current, teachers. You have classes to teach.
Rules exist for days before breaks:
Regardless of what others think, spring break is necessary. Honestly, I kind of think parents don't like breaks because they fear having to occupy their teens for an entire week. Trust me, parents. We love your children, but we feel your pain. Trying to come up with efficient ways to occupy, entertain, teach, enlighten, and challenge your children 180 days out of the year is a scary task. So give us a break: let us enjoy the five days we get before we're thrown back into state testing, AP testing, graduation, recommendations, prom, field trips, research papers, etc. Without break, you might see us on the 10 o'clock news, and I hear the camera adds ten pounds -- that is just not ok with me.
Non educators don't understand the NEED for spring break. Next week will most likely piss off the majority of working folks because Monday morning will fill Facebook with jubilant statuses about time off; however, before getting panties in a wad, people should consider that they work for vacation time they can take as they please. We are told when we get our time. Business folks get stressed out, and they can take a week of vacay to recoup; teachers get stressed, and we just have to put on a happy face and hope we don't choke a child before the next scheduled break. That's hard sometimes. Battling a room full of squirmy teens when the weather has just jumped from 30 to 70 overnight is like trying to herd cats. Tomorrow is going to be a case of the security guards trying to keep the inmates from running the asylum. I'm not a superstitious person, but I can attest to the weird behaviors of children on full moons, changes in weather, and before breaks. They lose their minds. For serious.
As they stroll into the room (the ones who actually bother coming to school on the last day before break), you'll have to wonder if an imaginary someone jerked their chains and kicked their mouths into overdrive. One always walks over to the blinds to pull them up for optimal outdoorness on the inside...they're like little plants that need high light. After the chatter and indoor sunbathing ensues, one goofball never fails to ask, "are we doing anything today?" Teachers, this is the perfect moment to slap on that fake smile and say to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job." If you're clever, you'll answer with something quick: "Um, no. I thought we'd celebrate the day before break through interpretive dance. Surprise! You're first!" Expect eye rolls. Teenagers don't like when adults use sarcasm to make them feel dumb. Once you convince them that there really isn't a dvd in the player, they settle in with looks that could kill. The clock gets more glances the day before a break than any other day of the year, and time, of course, passes at a handicapped snail's pace. Fight the current, teachers. You have classes to teach.
Rules exist for days before breaks:
- Don't start anything new.
- Don't set a due date for the day you return from break.
- Don't underestimate the number of teachers showing movies and the even larger multitude of questions and sighs you'll receive for not showing one.
- Don't remind them of things that are happening well after break and think it sufficient. Once they leave the room, a magic vacuum above the door sucks the sense from them, and they're no better than drooling puppies itching to go play in the yard.
Regardless of what others think, spring break is necessary. Honestly, I kind of think parents don't like breaks because they fear having to occupy their teens for an entire week. Trust me, parents. We love your children, but we feel your pain. Trying to come up with efficient ways to occupy, entertain, teach, enlighten, and challenge your children 180 days out of the year is a scary task. So give us a break: let us enjoy the five days we get before we're thrown back into state testing, AP testing, graduation, recommendations, prom, field trips, research papers, etc. Without break, you might see us on the 10 o'clock news, and I hear the camera adds ten pounds -- that is just not ok with me.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Written vs. Spoken Language
Man. If this discussion isn't every English teacher's mantra, then I don't know what is. Each day we stand before the minds of tomorrow and stress the importance of written and spoken language. There's an art to choosing words and phrases correctly so that one may reach the chosen audience appropriately. Sometimes, even the best of us struggle to make the right choices, and in a world where the spoken word is falling through the cracks, it's vital that we begin paying more attention to what we "say" in the written form.
Anyone who knows me knows that I sometimes struggle to convey the appropriate tone in the spoken sense. The delivery is a bit off, but being there with the audience, I have the opportunity to revamp and explain myself. In addition, how I really feel is written all over my face, so when the tone and the facial expression don't match, my viewers notice. Know me well enough, and you know I always mean well. On "paper," explaining yourself is just not in the cards; word choice is vital, and even then, sometimes the best wording can't solidify tone, often resulting in a misinterpretation at no fault of the audience. Yeesh. So frustrating.
Tone = Attitude
Too bad tone is relative in written language. Unless it's super obvious, based on genre or circumstance, that someone is trying to be funny, depressing, scathing, etc., sometimes it's impossible to interpret tone in an email or text message. With a million synonyms, some sentences just can't be made to "sound" a certain way. If word choice were as simple as replacing 'wrong' with 'incorrect,' then the world would be filled with puppies and rainbows, but not all synonyms are that obviously different in tone and I've yet to poop any puppies or rainbows.
Mood = Feeling
Tone sets the mood, so when you have a diction blunder, it's safe to say the mood of the conversation will avalanche into negativity. The worst part -- trying to dig yourself out of a text message hole is like trying to walk in quicksand. It's frustrating, especially when you realize you've not conveyed yourself correctly, and it's even worse when everything you "say" is just as emotionless as the original problem.
The Unique Qualities of Spoken Language
Ears will ignore things that eyes just can't allow. It's so true. In conversation, mechanics essentially go out the window. We tend to pause naturally where appropriate, and, like breathing, we don't think about it. Combined sentences flow freely from our mouths where on paper we'd have to make decisions about commas and conjunctions or consider rules about semi colons to combine thoughts.
One thing vital to spoken language is inflection, but most of us don't struggle so much with emotion in our voices. Poor souls who speak in the monotone or who overuse the verbal exclamation point are fewer and further between than "normal" talkers. It's actually not uncommon for great public speakers to be terrible writers: spelling doesn't matter in speaking; however, put that on paper, and BAM!...gotta get out a dictionary (or use a computer with spell check and avoid misspelling words so badly that you create new words). Smooth talkers with poor writing abilities aren't so smooth if they can't hook an audience with gun fingers and a wink.
I could ramble on for hours about this topic. Every day I remind the AP students that what they say on paper has to speak for itself because they won't be sitting there to explain what they meant if a reader gets confused. I say that, but I also know that it's not always easy to get things arranged in the written form. We're all guilty, especially me. The best solution is to save all important conversations for the face-to-face, but when it's not possible, choose your words carefully...or at least hope that the recipient knows you well enough to interpret appropriately your intent.
Anyone who knows me knows that I sometimes struggle to convey the appropriate tone in the spoken sense. The delivery is a bit off, but being there with the audience, I have the opportunity to revamp and explain myself. In addition, how I really feel is written all over my face, so when the tone and the facial expression don't match, my viewers notice. Know me well enough, and you know I always mean well. On "paper," explaining yourself is just not in the cards; word choice is vital, and even then, sometimes the best wording can't solidify tone, often resulting in a misinterpretation at no fault of the audience. Yeesh. So frustrating.
Tone = Attitude
Too bad tone is relative in written language. Unless it's super obvious, based on genre or circumstance, that someone is trying to be funny, depressing, scathing, etc., sometimes it's impossible to interpret tone in an email or text message. With a million synonyms, some sentences just can't be made to "sound" a certain way. If word choice were as simple as replacing 'wrong' with 'incorrect,' then the world would be filled with puppies and rainbows, but not all synonyms are that obviously different in tone and I've yet to poop any puppies or rainbows.
Mood = Feeling
Tone sets the mood, so when you have a diction blunder, it's safe to say the mood of the conversation will avalanche into negativity. The worst part -- trying to dig yourself out of a text message hole is like trying to walk in quicksand. It's frustrating, especially when you realize you've not conveyed yourself correctly, and it's even worse when everything you "say" is just as emotionless as the original problem.
The Unique Qualities of Spoken Language
Ears will ignore things that eyes just can't allow. It's so true. In conversation, mechanics essentially go out the window. We tend to pause naturally where appropriate, and, like breathing, we don't think about it. Combined sentences flow freely from our mouths where on paper we'd have to make decisions about commas and conjunctions or consider rules about semi colons to combine thoughts.
One thing vital to spoken language is inflection, but most of us don't struggle so much with emotion in our voices. Poor souls who speak in the monotone or who overuse the verbal exclamation point are fewer and further between than "normal" talkers. It's actually not uncommon for great public speakers to be terrible writers: spelling doesn't matter in speaking; however, put that on paper, and BAM!...gotta get out a dictionary (or use a computer with spell check and avoid misspelling words so badly that you create new words). Smooth talkers with poor writing abilities aren't so smooth if they can't hook an audience with gun fingers and a wink.
I could ramble on for hours about this topic. Every day I remind the AP students that what they say on paper has to speak for itself because they won't be sitting there to explain what they meant if a reader gets confused. I say that, but I also know that it's not always easy to get things arranged in the written form. We're all guilty, especially me. The best solution is to save all important conversations for the face-to-face, but when it's not possible, choose your words carefully...or at least hope that the recipient knows you well enough to interpret appropriately your intent.
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